OK SO ITS BEEN A LONG TIME I DON'T POST SOMETHING I'M SORRY. I HAVE HAD A LOT OF WORK RELATED STRESS. PLUS MY COMPUTER SCREEN IS STILL BROKEN AND I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT ANYMORE. TODAY I AM WRITING AT WORK BECAUSE I GOT TO THE POINT WHERE I SAID FUCK IT I AM GOING TO GO CRAZY. PLUS I'M IN A VERY DEPRESSED MOOD. I AM CRYING LIKE EVERY LITTLE BIT. REASON BEING: MEN! I AM TIRED OF DATING I AM TIRED OF DOING THE WHOLE ROUTINE OF THE DATING AND FINDING OUT THAT EACH ONE I MEET IS NOT THE RIGHT ONE FOR ME. I WAS TALKING TO THIS GUY THAT WAS NOT MR. PERFECT BUT I LIKED A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT HIM. I DON'T THINK THERE IS REALLY A PERFECT MAN ANYMORE I THINK PERFECT IS JUST A FAIRY TALE. BUT I DO WANT SOMEONE THAT I COULD RELATE TO. WELL SO I'M TALKNIG TO THIS GUY WE GO ON A COUPLE OF DATES I AM GETTING THE IDEA HE LIKES ME WE TALK WEDNESDAY NIGHT TILL LATE THEN HE JUST STOPS CALLING! WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK? SO I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE I KNEW THE GUY WAS GOING TO STOP CALLING SO I ASKED HIM WHAT IT WAS THAT WAS WRONG WITH ME. AND THIS IS WHAT I GET: I am not going to make up fairy tales stories for youI don't think you are missing anything, honeslty Ithink you have way too much for me! I am a dude fromthe streets and you are a rich girl (and please bare with me), my vice is gambling, yours is vacationing at expensive hotels, you brother drives a SL500, I've seen them in magazines. You talk about buying an M5, I hope to one day park one. Honestly that does not allow me comfort... I don't know what other man did not findin you, I can only speak for myself but I felt out of place at Loews (I don't even know if it's spelled that way), all I know is history and philosophy besides that I am a fucking idiot... I don't belong to your left anywhere we can go. I can never take you anywhere that can make your raise your eyebrows. This old dog know what bones he can bite on, and which to simply put aside. That's your problem, which at the end, at least with me, it's not even your problem; it's mine. NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT? I CAN'T EVEN THINK I JUST FROZE AND THOSE WORDS JUST CIRCLE IN MY MIND AND BRING TEARS TO MY EYES. I KNOW I'M IN A SENSITIVE MOOD ( ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH) BUT I AM REALLY OUT OF THINGS TO DO OR SAY. OTHER MEN JUST WANT TO GET INTO MY PANTS. OTHERS ARE CONFUSSED AND DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT. THERE IS THIS OTHER MAN HE IS 34 WAS MARRIED ONCE NO CHILDREN GOT DIVORCED 1-1/2 YEARS AGO. I'VE KNOWN HIM FOR LIKE 5 YEARS. I LIKE THE GUY BUT I KNOW HE IS NOT SURE IF HE IS READY TO GO BACK INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP. SO I HAVE GIVEN HIM HIS SPACE FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW. THIS WEEKEND HE TAKES ME OUT TO LUNCH AND HE ASKS ME QUESTIONS LIKE: ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP? WHEN WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE KIDS? WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? SO I WAS A BIT SURPRISED I'M THINKING THE MAN MIGHT JUST BE GETTING READY HIMSELF FOR SOMETHING MORE SERIOUS. THEN HE TELLS ME HE'S GOING TO CALL AND DOESN'T CALL FOR LIKE 2 DAYS! WHEN HE SHOWS UP AT WORK ITS LIKE WE ARE THE ONLY ONES IN THE ROOM. SO SEE I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT. I THINK I WILL JUST BE HAPPIER AN OLD MAID!